


timelapse

by deokjun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Coughing, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love, attempted that is, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 09:55:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16427174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deokjun/pseuds/deokjun
Summary: Renjun thinks the world is good even when he's coughing daisies and roses because of some stupid crush he has on his best friend.





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**Author's Note:**

> hi!! i wrote this in my chemistry class the other day- this is not proofread nor beta-d at all so please be easy on me!;;
> 
> i haven't write angst in ages i hope this does justice//

On his first day meeting this certain cute, crescent-eyed smiley boy, Renjun thought the world was good. The memory of said boy greeting him a shy, “Hello, my name is Jeno. Please take care of me well,” on a sunny Saturday in front of his front door is treasured dearly on the back of his head. His mother cooed at their new neighbor’s adorably awkward antics. It was a small family consisting of three members (two parents and one adorable son) that recently moved to the neighborhood, they were closest to Renjun’s so it was them who got the greetings first. His mother was the one was very enthusiastic, praising little Jeno’s charms. Even his father favored the lovely boy, Renjun didn't see why he shouldn’t too.

She made him promise to always stay by Jeno’s side and help him whenever he’s in need, Renjun has never agreed to something so fast in his life before. Even though Renjun’s mom warned Jeno about Renjun who barely had any distinct personality and Renjun’s whines, Jeno waved it off and kept his crescent eyesmiles. They shortly became so attached to each other after that.

Jeno was a good boy to begin with. He smiled easily at anything and was never mad when Renjun whined about his broken crayons. He moved from Busan to Seoul because of his parents’ work – which, supposedly, took most of their time so Jeno doesn’t really see them a lot. He mostly crashed to Renjun’s after school and came home only to sleep. It’s not like Renjun’s parents mind anyway. If it’s anything, they’re more happy because finally – finally Renjun has someone with the same age to talk to. His mother never stopped talking about Jeno’s good nature, indirectly complaining for Renjun to strengthen his characters.

By the end of the year, Jeno ended up with having a stash of his clothes in Renjun’s drawer.

One thing Renjun noticed is that Jeno liked to play and fool around. He went to a lot of amusement parks and circuses and carnivals, those are the times Jeno would fully be free and laugh as he wants. Jeno liked to see the flexible legs of those dancers and amazing tricks the magician pulled. He also liked to run around to play tag – Renjun trained himself not to get too tired quickly so he can play more with Jeno. His mother laughed when one night, she found Renjun mumbling about running faster in his sleep.

At some point, Renjun and Jeno named the corner of the park near their neighborhood as the _Jen-Ren place_ and they promised to not let anyone come near there.

On their middle school days, Renjun thought the world was still good. They went to the same good and the same class. Jeno attended the soccer club (which succesfully grabbed the not-very-athetic Renjun’s attention to sport) and Renjun to the art club (which he spends drawing Jeno and the crinkles of his eyes in). Renjun learnt that Jeno’s good at everything but Mathematics. That year too, Renjun came to notice that he’d find loads of Jeno’s clothes in his wardrobe and beside his toothbrush in the bathroom is Jeno’s. No one said a word about that, it just came naturally. It increased as time goes by but Renjun didn’t protest a single bit.

Jeno liked Renjun’s drawings – but he said he looked way too handsome in Renjun’s sketches because he doesn’t look _that_ gorgeous in real life. Renjun thought he was joking, he firmly insisted otherwise and called Jeno ridiculous. Everyone knows Jeno looks like a whole prince, why doubt it now? Jeno would always lower his head and giggled with tints of pink on his cheek, refusing the praise shyly. One warm Tuesday after Renjun’s art club activity, they talked about art on their way home.

The sun was pretty that day, the sky was orange with gradation of violet and tints of black. Jeno told Renjun that he has been finding daisies pretty lately. He saw some of them on the fields the other day when he was practicing, and despite their small size, Jeno was interested in them. Renjun cooed at Jeno’s antics – he really is adorable. Then Jeno asked, what’s Renjun’s favorite flower?

Renjun hesitated a bit. He didn’t really think of flowers because he rarely drew them. His object of focus has always been Jeno and he hadn’t think of other things. So he settled with the closest flower he had in mind: _red roses_ because they’re romantic and delicate. Classic choice. Jeno argued that the thorns are such a pain in the ass, it’s a shame to have such harm on a beautiful flower.

Maybe they bickered a bit more than the other days. But in the end, Jeno still grabbed Renjun’s hand to a convenience store nearby to buy both of them strawberry milks. Jeno accidentally picked the wrong brand and the milk was too sweet, Renjun didn’t say anything. He wrote that down on his daily journal, though.

( _June the 16th._

 _The milk Jeno bought today was a different brand._  
_It was too sweet._  
_But I still like it because Jeno bought it after we argued._  
_Maybe I like it because Jeno alone._

 _Renjun._ )

On their freshman year of high school, they still went to the same school but not the same class, Renjun thought the world was still good nevertheless. They grew different interests: Jeno enjoyed social studies and Renjun was more of a literature and art junkie. Jeno dyed his hair platinum at the beginning of the year and Renjun thought it looked perfect on him (Jeno’s mother said otherwise, Renjun only chuckled). Renjun still remembered when he accompanied Jeno to the hairdresser and how he whined about the uncomfortable stings he had to feel due to layers of bleaches. Jeno was the ace in his soccer team and Renjun never stopped drawing him in his spare time. He could draw Jeno only from his memory only but he refused to do so – he drew only when Jeno’s around, reasoning it’ll make the result even more realistic (lame excuses but please just let it slide, Renjun couldn't think of a better one).

Their walk home was slightly moved by an hour because of their packed schedules. But they never missed a day to walk home together by any chance. Jeno immediately dismissed his bands of friend by the second Renjun showed up and vice versa – Renjun abandoning his brushes and chatters as Jeno’s head peeked to the art room. Everyone in the school knew about it and they often asked both Renjun and Jeno, are you actually dating? Which will always receive a fit of laughter and a shaking of head by Jeno – a more panicked and flustered version came from Renjun.

His other friends, Donghyuck and Chenle, cooed him that he’s so smitten, which Renjun disagreed with pink tints on his face. He said – friends are just friends, _that’s what Jeno and I are_. Donghyuck frowned and Chenle rolled his eyes, finding it difficult to believe when Renjun literally walked everywhere with heart eyes and heartthrobs screaming Jeno’s name. Donghyuck compared Renjun to a small puppy because of two things: first, because he’s lovely and looked literally like a puppy when he tried to curl his hair one day. Second, of course, because he tailed Jeno everywhere.

Renjun has never thought of Jeno that way (maybe?). He, however, turned out to pay more attention to Jeno since the topic was brought up. He saw himself gaping when he sat on a bright Sunday, watching Jeno plays with his team. He found himself barely listening to whatever Jeno’s talking about on their walk home on one cloudy Wednesday. He spent more time glancing at Jeno’s clean teeth and twinkling eyes and full cheeks whenever he had spare time. He began to think his logics were playing tricks on him as he realized he actually  _did_ have thoughts of Jeno in  _that_ way. Nothing platonic at all.

When one night he woke up to a foreign, uncomfortable itch on his throat, Renjun decided that maybe falling in love with his own bestfriend is his most beautiful mistake. His sane head begged him not to do this, yet his whole heart ordered him the exact opposite.

Renjun was caught in confusion – then he settled for the best. For what he truly wants. This is going to be long but Renjun _wanted_ it, so he didn’t mind. He kept it to himself because loving someone you shouldn’t love should be that way: secretly and quietly.

On their junior year, the itch transformed to something more painful; like a combination of burning sensation and occasional sharp pain on his chest. He thought it was just a sore throat so he didn't really pay attention. Renjun immediately started coughing petals of daisies – Jeno’s favorite, _of course_ – after the arrival of the new student named Na Jaemin. Sweet, lovely Na Jaemin who took Jeno’s attention in just one blink of an eye, something Renjun had always failed since their first ever meeting.

And,  _oh_ , it all made sense.

Renjun wanted to believe that he was not, in fact, jealous at all. Jeno is nothing but his best friend for him and he wasn’t on the place to feel jealous. So he only looked away when Jeno blabbered about how cute this Jaemin boy is, trying to ignore the itch and burns that crept up from his chest to his throat.

Jeno told Renjun that he’ll be skipping his weekly soccer practice to work on his economy project with Jaemin. The lame excuse like, “He’s still new, Injun-ah, I want to help him. Just like how you always help me,” was left unheard by Renjun, but he nodded anyway. Even when he was struggling between drawing graphics and controlling his coughs of daisies, Renjun still thought the world is good; he believed it’s only a temporal pain and one day he’ll have a chance.

Few weeks after that, Renjun stopped coughing petals. On a particular afternoon, his throat parched more than ever and it almost felt like oxygen was forcefully ripped off of him. He started coughing a full-bloomed daisy – there was six of them in total, a dozen of petals following shortly. The flowers weren’t as big as he thought it will be, yet it hurted like hell. The stems were clogging his throat, knotting his lungs, and grasping his ribs. Tears drenched his cheeks, forming a dam on the brim of his eyes. He stared at the sink bowl, full of pretty, lithe white daisies tainted with horrible splatters of his own blood.

Is it how he’s going to die? Won’t he have a single chance in the future to cure it? Won’t Jeno come to save him from the suffocation binding him down? – Renjun asked for the impossible. Like a princess asking for his knight in shining armor who will never come.

Jeno phoned him few minutes later, telling Renjun enthusiastically about how he and Jaemin finally decided to be together. His voice sounded like a bullet clashed directly to his chest, yet still Renjun chuckled lightly in the middle of his excruciating suffocation. He spelt every answer with fingers grasping the front of his shirt, begging for the flowers to stay at least until his call. Jeno did ask about why does Renjun sound so hoarse? Renjun lied and told him he caught a cold another day, reminded him not to worry too much and he’ll recover soon (he wished he actually will).

He didn’t forget to congratulate Jeno and wished the best for them. Jeno thanked him and wished him health in return (maybe he mentioned about visiting Renjun sometimes in the future, Renjun didn’t really pay attention because there were more stems tugging his windpipe). Renjun hung up and vomited more. More painful, more burning. Then he flushed the sink, watching quietly the flowers from his lungs went away along with tap water that got mixed with his blood.

There was a single petal that fell unnoticed in his grip. Renjun agreed to Jeno’s opinion about daisies being pretty. It’s, indeed. Yet it left him a soft tug at the heart that this daisy came as a reminder that he only shared the same opinion as Jeno – not the same feeling.

He went to Donghyuck’s after that. Donghyuck’s dormitory was already silent as the dead and maybe Donghyuck complained because he already fell asleep and had to wake up again just for Renjun’s bothers.

As soon as Donghyuck opened the door, he noticed the very slight splatter of blood on Renjun’s shirt, his bloodshot eyes, pale and dry lips, and the petals Renjun was holding. He understood right away. _Of course_ , he whispered to himself. _Things like this are bound to happen_. He guessed it would happen – as much as how cruel it sounded. Donghyuck whispered a soft, “Oh, Renjun,” as he cradled the delicate male to his embrace.

And for the first time since he met Jeno, Renjun cried.

Renjun cried in Donghyuck’s arms all night. He cried because it hurt, who knows love can hurt so much? Renjun didn’t really mind the fact that Jeno didn’t love him back nor did he mind about how Jeno’s with Jaemin now. It’s just that his chest felt like it almost bursted – as if the feeling he’s been holding all these years were going to explode and Renjun didn’t have any idea what to do.

Donghyuck soothed him by circling his small back; heart clenching at the visage of his poor friend’s suffering. Renjun coughed more flowers that night, fingers almost tearing Donghyuck’s shirt, a red rose in the middle of white daisies – his blood making them a bit hard to differentiate by color. The thorn lasted longer burn on his throat, the very same red shade on both Renjun’s and Donghyuck’s shirts and the latter’s sheets. They fell on a deep silence, the shared look between them meant a lot. Donghyuck shutted Renjun’s apologies with a warm cup of chamomile tea he brewed right away.

It’s ironic because Renjun used to think red roses were romantic. Now it will always be another reminder for him that romantic things aren’t for him. Donghyuck softly gripped his shaking fingers and carefully asked, “What are you going to do?”

Renjun knew where it’s heading – of course: the surgery.

The surgery was one of the two way to get rid of the flowers. It’s the most effective way and the safest. The operation is quite expensive on the budget but Donghyuck would be willing to help anytime Renjun needed. But it came with a price, other than the loads of cash, was the patient would get rid of feeling love in the future. Usually they will only be unable to fall in love with the person who grew them the flowers – but in some cases, the patient would be completely totally unable to feel love in any way.

Renjun didn’t want to risk that. He lived to love Jeno. He existed for Jeno.

So he smiled at Donghyuck and shook his head twice. He confessed that loving Jeno might be the most painful, yet the most beautiful wonder he’ll ever experience. If he’s going to die because of it, then he’s glad. He finally has something – someone – worth dying for, wouldn’t that be dreamy? His mother would actually be proud of him from having a decent personality, would be proud of him for being able to stand up for what he believes in. If to love someone is to die, Renjun then said loving Jeno was the most exquisite form of self-destruct. And he didn’t mind. He would still do it even the world turned up against him. Donghyuck zipped his lips tight.

“If I commit the surgery, I know he’ll never forgive himself. He’s the type to,” Renjun stared blankly at Donghyuck hands and emitted a soft laugh later. “I don’t mind dying if it’s for him. I just don’t know how to make him not to think too much about it.”

In that very moment, Renjun still thought the world was good. How good it is to grant Jeno the happiness he deserves. How he gets to feel the butterflies in his stomach too just like Renjun does everytime he sees Jeno. Even if the butterflies weren’t for him, Renjun didn’t complain. The world was good, it’s just him who’s less okay.

Even when Jeno’s clothes subsided from his drawer and he no longer had his toothbrush beside Renjun’s in his bathroom sink, Renjun still thought the world was good. He no longer sat every Sunday watching Jeno play soccer, he only saw Jeno less than three times a week, their _Jen-Ren place_ basically turned into a mess of abandoned bushes, and Renjun’s been walking home alone for some times now – yet it’s still quite okay for him. Even in the nights where Renjun would cry out of pain as his throat forcefully coughed roses and daisies, he never once hated the world.

Renjun has always been so positive to the world, then why do bad things keep on happening?

Three months prior at 23:57 PM, he received a call from Jisung – Jeno’s teammate and their junior – that Jeno got into a car crash. A fatal one, to mention. They were practicing late at night and Jeno went out to grab some snacks for the team when a drunkard hit him with their car. Jisung said Jeno’s injuries were awful and he had to be admitted to the hospital – in which Renjun dashed to the second after Jisung mentioned the address.

Jaemin was already there – _of course_ , Renjun wondered why did he even question that – with wet cheeks and eyes red. Renjun, as a good friend he is, bottled up anything he wanted to say and straightly ran to Jaemin to hug him. He calmed the other boy just like how Jeno would always do whenever he sulked; pats on the back, soft presses on the nape. Renjun could feel a familiar burn beginning to creep up to his chest, but he tried his best to ignore it. It wasn’t the right time to care for himself, so he kept on wrapping his arms around Jaemin who made his shirt wet – biting his lower lip as he suppressed the itching cough and his watering eyes.

Jeno was in coma.

Jaemin couldn’t stay by Jeno’s side much because he was in the school’s Student Council and he had duties to care about. So it was Renjun who never missed a minute to accompany Jeno’s soft beating heart everyday after school hours – sitting outside everytime Jaemin came to drop by, never missed any information to tell him about Jeno. Renjun kept track on Jeno’s health and was the one the doctors would call if anything happens. Jeno’s parents only dropped by for few times, noting how busy they were with works and trusted him to Renjun’s care. Renjun was beyond happy. 

Jeno’s room basically became his second room for these three months – something he felt undeniably nostalgic, except it used to be the other way around. Donghyuck also occasionally came to check on him, bringing him fruits and never failed to remind him to eat. He brought the notes from school and Renjun would rewrite anything he missed, did any projects with the ever-so-patient Donghyuck who always understood his condition.

At times like that, Renjun thought the world was good because he’s still given a chance to see Jeno. That Jeno’s still here with him after the horrible event he had to pass. That Jeno’s calm breathing and steady beating heart were still able to be heard by him. That, even though the flowers suffocate him each day – getting worse each time he sees Jeno, he knew he won’t die as a witness of Jeno’s death.

So when Jaemin called him to inform Jeno’s finally awake, Renjun was over the clouds. He’ll see his lifelong love alive and breathing like before. He’ll be able to hear his laugh again. He won’t spend nights fearing Jeno’s beating would cease tomorrow anymore. He’ll be able to show Jeno the beauty of daisies he’s always loved. He thanked the world for granting him such a miracle – thanks for waking Jeno up, thanks for giving him a chance.

He’s happy. He really was.

But when he opened the door with a bouquet of white daisies in his grip – saw Jeno and Jaemin holding hands, Jeno’s questioning stare piercing at him with a cold-toned voice asking, “Who are you?”, Renjun felt his world crumbles down right away.

His fingers grew cold so suddenly and there was a loud pang to his heart. Nothing came out from his mouth as he immediately stepped back and closed the door with his own trembling hand. The horrible ache in his lungs arrived as soon as the door clicked, there was no way Renjun would escape from this sudden attack. Heavy coughs helplessly released beautiful crowns of red roses coated in darker liquid, making a sharp contrast against the bouquet of white daisies he’s holding. Renjun tasted iron in his mouth and they even dripped down to his chin – his eyes stung and his shoulder shook. _This is it_ , he thought. _This is the part where it ends; it's over._

“Renjun, sorry—,”

The door opened and revealed Jaemin, whose eyes widen in second at the mess Renjun made. His mind clicked immediately and he softly gaped. “Renjun...?” His voice was as light as a feather, Renjun chuckled weakly. He figured Jaemin would find out sooner or later; he never thought what respond should he give when the time comes. So, this time, he’d just go with the flow. The slightly taller boy gulped down his saliva, breath held as he tried to swat away his doubts. “Jeno?”

When Renjun only smiled and nodded, Jaemin bit his lower lip. _It’s true_. His doubts were correct.

“Since when?” He breathlessly questioned.

Renjun looked at him in the eyes. “Years ago.”

The atmosphere fell quiet then. Renjun felt guilt in his head when he saw the sudden change of Jaemin’s expression. Jaemin blinked in confusion before he lowered his head. Knowing someone suffered because his love, yet only recently found it out. Imagine Renjun’s previous days, having to bear watching them when he was dying? “Renjun, I’m really sorry. I didn’t know that you..—If only- I wouldn’t date h—,”

“Don’t tell Jeno,” Renjun cut, soft smile still visible on his mien. His eyes crinkled just slightly. “He just woke up. If you tell him, he’ll be confused.”

Renjun mused about his past thoughts – he had so many fears; leaving Jeno one day was on the top list. Long ago, he told Jeno that he feared living alone without Jeno, in which the crescent-eyed boy replied with soft giggles and a squeeze on his hand. He assured him they won’t ever be separated by a second in the future and Renjun would agree. If only that’s what happening in the present. If only Jeno held to his promise.

Renjun also thought about his concern of Jeno feeling guilty if something happened to him. Renjun was never a person to blame things on the others at the first place, but Jeno was the type to put all the weights on himself. When he first started coughing flowers, he struggled to find a way to tell Jeno – because in the end, Jeno would blame himself and did anything to save Renjun. And then he wouldn’t be able to find his love like he did with Jaemin, he’d be too focused to keep Renjun from dying and their love won’t be as sincere as Renjun wanted it to be. That’s why he kept quiet all these time. He didn’t want that to happen.

But now – now that Jeno no longer had him in his mind, it would be easier, wouldn’t it? Jeno wouldn’t feel guilty if someday he found out Renjun died holding on the love he had for him close. Jeno wouldn’t worry because Renjun would just be a hazy, blurry memory to him. Jeno could go on living as if Renjun wasn’t a part of his life from the start. And Renjun would die contently, not fearing even for a little bit for leaving Jeno – because he has someone to fill the blank spot. Wasn’t the world so good for setting up such story line?

It ached Renjun’s heart, though, to know he didn’t have a strong enough anchor to make Jeno remember him. That he was surpisingly easy to be replaced with and how forgettable he was. What was him after all this years?

(But will it matter at last? No, it won’t. So Renjun gulped down his misery and believed it was the best plan the world has ever came up with.)

“Now that you’re here, please take care of him. I don’t know if I have much time to take him to more silly playgrounds. He’s really like a child when you take him to carnivals,” Renjun joked. He wiped the blood on his lips and chin with the back of his hand, smearing the liquid on his skin. “He likes his tea with boiled milk and two teaspoons of sugar,” The smaller boy shrugged, smiling widely. “You probably knew it already, though.”

Jaemin stayed silent, he didn’t dare to raise his gaze to meet Renjun’s. But the latter only sighed lowly, handing the bouquet to Jaemin.

“Tell him it’s from a neighbor who’s just surprised – and sorry – to disturb his time with his boyfriend. He likes daisies, he most likely won’t question about it much,” Renjun said. Jaemin glanced at the white daisies as he hesitantly took it – it was pretty, with tiny dots of blood visibly blotted few of the petals. “Sorry you had to see the mess.”

They fell into another silence – this time, it’s rather comfortable. Renjun agreed a peace with his mind, no heavy feelings residing in his chest. Seeing Jaemin made him sure that Jeno would be alright in the future, and it was what Renjun had always hoped for: for Jeno to have someone to take care of him when Renjun’s not around and for Jeno to always be happy. Jaemin finally raised his chin to look at Renjun who was already observing him gently. His corners of lips curled upwards, grateful to know he’s handing his heart to the right person. Renjun nodded slightly and almost turned his body – only to be caught by Jaemin on his wrist.

“Renjun-ah, will you be okay? It can be cured, right?”

He blinked in surprise for a while, then proceeded to laugh freely – albeit it came out rather croaked and raw. “Of course,” Renjun raised his cleanest hand to pat Jaemin’s arm, the other’s grip slowly eased. “I’ve been okay with it. Of course I will be okay in the future too,” Renjun reasoned –  _no, he’s barely okay –_  Jaemin didn’t look too convinced.  None of them brought it up, though. “Just take a really good care of him, yeah? I entrust him to you,” He gave Jaemin’s upper arm one last tap before letting it slide down, hanging on his sides. “He’s very important to me, you know?”

They shared another look for the last time. Jaemin didn’t say anything else, so Renjun settled with bidding him a warm goodbye. There wasn’t a wish or a promise he’ll be back – it was left unsaid maybe; Renjun knew the reality maybe. So when Renjun turned his heels and walked away for the finally, Jaemin didn’t stop him. He only stared at Renjun’s back that’s slowly disappearing between the crowd of white-coated people.

And then he looked at the beautiful mess Renjun had left. A pretty red rose with blood splatters – some white daisies petals tinted with red around it. He thought that what Renjun had was ironically beautiful, and he couldn’t stop himself for feeling pitiful. He could’ve done something to prevent this, yet it won’t be enough because things like these were destined to happen. Jaemin stilled as he held his sigh, tears threatening to fall – guilt was what he felt.

Up until now, Renjun still thought that the world was good. He’s far from being okay, but the world was good. He’s given a chance to take care of Jeno and now someone Jeno loves can finally takes over his place. He’s finally with someone he truly wants to be with. He has someone to make it happy – even if it wasn’t Renjun, he’ll still always be grateful. Things were finally right and he was thankful. Meeting a wonder like Jeno was truly something he will never once regret and if he could, he’ll do it over and over again.

In the middle of his deathbed days later – his own bed covered by daisies and roses and hopes and wishes on a calm night – Renjun thinks if there will be a chance for them to be together in another lifetime. It’ll spent him centuries probably, in other verses if it exists even. It’s not like Renjun would hate to wait, though. Maybe then, he won’t have to think about the guilt of leaving Jeno alone for the slightest. Maybe then, he doesn’t need to feel thorns and beautiful petals asphyxiating him everytime Jeno comes in mind. Maybe then, he will be given a chance to be honest and sincere with Jeno. Maybe then, he can look at Jeno in his eyes and Jeno would stare back at him with eyes full of genuine love.

He feels his body becoming lighter as one last familiar burn begins to ignite a scorching pain on his chest. Renjun closes his lids and smiles between his weakening breath; that will be great, if he could be with Jeno next time.

And even if the world might not be as good as it is now – maybe, at least, he’ll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> i tried not to write in lapselock. it's a bit weird but nothing too drastic, i guess!!


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